Epilogue...Hopefully (pSteve Part 3)

"p" is for persistent and pathetic

15 years have passed since the prom from hell. A lot has happened, I've moved a lot, graduated from college, gotten married and divorced. I subscribed to a dating site that chooses people who they feel would match your personality. One day I got one from a man who seemed interesting, cute and smart. We started the step by step get to know you process. We were on Step 2 before I realized where I knew that goofy smile from. He'd lost some hair and put on some weight, but that was Steve.

With a sigh I asked where he went to high school. He wrote back Upper Darby, as I knew he would. Then I got to send the fun note, "I think I went to your prom with you..."

Now I believe in a certain amount of fate, and it sure seemed like a higher power brought us back in touch so I figured who am I to fight it? At worst he would reject me and then have some closure. Maybe that was what this was for. As it turns out I think I was put on this earth to torment him. We got along well at first. I managed to over look that he worked at Staples, didn't have a car and still lived with his parents. I picked him up for dinner and a movie and as soon as he got in the car I was assaulted by the tongue.

I now know why that kiss 17 years ago was so bad. His tongue is huge and cannot do anything but stay wide and flat. It's a lot to deal with, especially when you didn't see it coming. Happily it was not as bad as I remembered. Dinner was nice and we wandered around a bookstore as we waited for the movie time. The movie was good, though I wasn't used to being kissed at random moments. We agreed to see each other the next day and I drove home very tired.

The next day he called to ask if I could pick him up from work because he didn't have a ride. This was not a good sign. Back the 45 minutes to my place to watch movies where he managed to give me a very embarrassing hickey. I was 31 at the time, I didn't want hickeys. We had a little talk about that as I took him home. Again very tired on the way back and almost fell asleep. This was so not working.

Then the jealousy started. He was working late Friday, I was going out with Monie. He said he was okay with me not staying home every night. Oh goody! I told him that I wasn't waiting by the phone, I had a life. That didn't go over too well. Over the next few days his jealousy of Monie and everyone else started to get on my nerves.

Saturday came and I once again picked him up from work. I'd made dinner and then we watched a movie. It was late, I didn't want to drive so he stayed over.

We were in the middle of breakfast and I was trying to decide how to get him out when his phone rang. It was his mother and she was pissed! She was screaming at him in Greek, he was yelling back. He didn't call to tell her he wasn't coming home and she was unhappy! So there was how I got him out of the house.

As I sped down the highway I was running over what I would say when the trooper pulled me over: "Yes officer, I realize I was speeding but my companion has missed curfew and his mom is really pissed." Happily there were no flashing lights.

I was about 2 blocks from his house when he asked me to drop him off because if his mom saw him getting out of my car it would be worse. Okay, how old are we?

The following week we broke up...it took 2 1/2 hours to convince him it was over. The conversation began with an argument over my putting a friend in need first. To this day she likes telling people she broke us up. So the end began with bargaining, then a history of his dating issues, then was I sure I wasn't just hurting myself in the long run? Oh nooooo, I was certain this was for the best. After 2 weeks he stopped calling.

At least there were no threats of diet Pepsi.