My Dad is Cooler
So my first foray back into the dating scene after the divorce was in July of 2005. We met online and eventually decided to meet for a drink. Lydia and I got together and she and the kids helped me pick out something to wear. Lydia was on notice to call about a half hour into the date to make sure I hadn't been stuffed in a trunk. A very nervous me set out on my first date in almost 5 years.
I sat at the bar and read a cast-off sports page while glancing at the TV and sipping my beer. The minutes ticked by. My phone rang. It was Lydia checking in. No, he hadn't arrived yet. Not a good sign that it looked like I was being stood up out of the gate. But then he called, apologizing and saying he was parking as we spoke.
Soon a guy I recognized from his photo came through the door. He sat next to me and ordered a beer and proceeded to not talk. I tried everything from sports to current events to history to technology. I got some nods and chortles. I thought I hit a winner with fly fishing, but it was short lived after he showed me the correct posture for casting in a river. Thus the first nicknamed date was born: Boring Guy or BG for short.
While he seemed to have no interests he wanted to discussed, I realized that somewhere in the last five years I'd learned to make small talk! So after talking myself hoarse about God knows what, the date was finally over.
He walked me to the parking lot, proceeded to circle my car, comment that I kept the interior clean (ha ha) and KICK THE TIRES! He even leaned on them to check the tire pressure. The thought that this must be like going on a date with my dad ran through my head, and was then quickly replaced by, "Yeah, but Dad's much more interesting."
And of course there was the goodnight hug followed by the evasion of the goodnight kiss. That move never leaves you.
I was surprised when I heard from him the next day saying what a good time he'd had. And when he asked me to the movies I said yes because I believe we don't always make our best impressions the first time out. We had dinner and there was a bit more conversation this time, then we popped over to the movies. As we sat in the darkened theater 3 young guys sat in the seats on the other side of me.
The movie began and BG chose a few interesting moments to chastise the movie. Not talk to me about it, but talk to the movie about what was wrong with it. I found myself inching closer to the people in the seats next to me in a vain hope I could pretend I was with them. Finally I could take no more and I actually shushed him. I'm not proud of it, but I started to feel that you really could die of embarrassment.
The movie ended and we made our way to the parking lot. Once we got outside I realized I was really not feeling well. BG wouldn't have noticed because he was about 10 feet in front of me, but I was having a real problem walking a straight line. When we got to my car I could barely stand and had to lean on the door. I had caught the bug that was floating around work.
BG tried to open my car door, very gallant but unsuccessful without keys. I got the door open and he continued to talk about something...I don't remember what because I was suddenly very hot and concentrating on not vomiting. As he went on I finally broke in and told him I wasn't feeling well. He seemed concerned, but kept talking. I couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "If I don't leave now I'm going to throw up!" Needless to say there was no attempt at a kiss and I never heard from him again.
Welcome back to dating!
I sat at the bar and read a cast-off sports page while glancing at the TV and sipping my beer. The minutes ticked by. My phone rang. It was Lydia checking in. No, he hadn't arrived yet. Not a good sign that it looked like I was being stood up out of the gate. But then he called, apologizing and saying he was parking as we spoke.
Soon a guy I recognized from his photo came through the door. He sat next to me and ordered a beer and proceeded to not talk. I tried everything from sports to current events to history to technology. I got some nods and chortles. I thought I hit a winner with fly fishing, but it was short lived after he showed me the correct posture for casting in a river. Thus the first nicknamed date was born: Boring Guy or BG for short.
While he seemed to have no interests he wanted to discussed, I realized that somewhere in the last five years I'd learned to make small talk! So after talking myself hoarse about God knows what, the date was finally over.
He walked me to the parking lot, proceeded to circle my car, comment that I kept the interior clean (ha ha) and KICK THE TIRES! He even leaned on them to check the tire pressure. The thought that this must be like going on a date with my dad ran through my head, and was then quickly replaced by, "Yeah, but Dad's much more interesting."
And of course there was the goodnight hug followed by the evasion of the goodnight kiss. That move never leaves you.
I was surprised when I heard from him the next day saying what a good time he'd had. And when he asked me to the movies I said yes because I believe we don't always make our best impressions the first time out. We had dinner and there was a bit more conversation this time, then we popped over to the movies. As we sat in the darkened theater 3 young guys sat in the seats on the other side of me.
The movie began and BG chose a few interesting moments to chastise the movie. Not talk to me about it, but talk to the movie about what was wrong with it. I found myself inching closer to the people in the seats next to me in a vain hope I could pretend I was with them. Finally I could take no more and I actually shushed him. I'm not proud of it, but I started to feel that you really could die of embarrassment.
The movie ended and we made our way to the parking lot. Once we got outside I realized I was really not feeling well. BG wouldn't have noticed because he was about 10 feet in front of me, but I was having a real problem walking a straight line. When we got to my car I could barely stand and had to lean on the door. I had caught the bug that was floating around work.
BG tried to open my car door, very gallant but unsuccessful without keys. I got the door open and he continued to talk about something...I don't remember what because I was suddenly very hot and concentrating on not vomiting. As he went on I finally broke in and told him I wasn't feeling well. He seemed concerned, but kept talking. I couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "If I don't leave now I'm going to throw up!" Needless to say there was no attempt at a kiss and I never heard from him again.
Welcome back to dating!
posted by Liz at 1:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home